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Remember the bling antelope?”“THEN WHY DIDN’T HE JUST TELL THEM THERE WAS A BACK EXIT TO THE CAVE?”“Have some fucking bacon.”“I’m going to eat some fucking bacon! What were we talking about?”“Think they’ll re-right that ship?”“Not a chance in hell!” he said through a mouth of pig.She kissed his forehead as she slipped into his lap. “I agree. And there’s still more chance of that than a devil’s threeway with you and Fitz.”“Babe, really?”“Yeah.”“Like, for real? Or is this just to lull me into a sense of complacency, while you artfully plan a surprise for my birthday?”“Well, if I was planning that surprise for your birthday, this is how I’d lull you into a sense of complacency. But I’m not doing that. It’s not going to happen.”“Huh.”“Yeah. I just know you have a lot of energy, and I’d like you to channel it into something productive.”“Ok.”“You could write Star Wars fanfic.”“I’m not a fucking nerd. Wait—when did you see that movie?”“I read the Wikipedia summary. Sounds lame. Was there. In a weird sort of way, it was cute ... tiresome ... but cute. Naturally, the secretary connected Vee to the commissioner ... she pushed all the right buttons except the one that kept Vee connected to the commissioner's secretary. That button, she disconnected.So Vee didn't get to hear Commissioner Zalewski say Hello half a dozen times. Nor did she hear Gary say Princess five of those six times.Because she was trying to call back and Gary was trying to call Vee, neither of them understood the dead air time until Vee and Gary said Hello at the precisely same instant."Get off the line, I'm trying to make an important call," they both said ... and disconnected.In milliseconds, they both realized what had happened and tried again. No rings ... dead air ... a tentative Hello and a return Hello, also tentative."Vee?" asked the Commissioner."Commissioner?" asked Vee.There was just enough space between inquiries for them to be satisfied."Princess?" sighed Mr. Zalewski. "How may I help you?".
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